Archive news from Matt Levine

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Date Headline Description #
19-Feb-2025 ESG Isn’t Passive Anymore 13Ds, Ackman’s Berkshire, highest-paid hedge fund managers, X’s valuation and converting from a broker to an adviser. Request summary
18-Feb-2025 The Unicorns Are Zombies Also Safe Superintelligence, OpenAI voting rights, the egg spot market, Libra and the Meet Kevin ETF. Request summary
13-Feb-2025 Gold Is Worth More in New York Also shareholder proposals, OpenAI, QRT and a picture of a house. Request summary
12-Feb-2025 Not Everywhere Is Insider Trading CFDs abroad, Vanguard advice, Dow tracking error and Metaplanet. Request summary
11-Feb-2025 Sure Elon Musk Might Buy OpenAI Also passthrough fees, memecoins and financial advisers who tell you how to give away all your money. Request summary
10-Feb-2025 Memecoin Pumps Are Just for Fun CBS procedurals, Josh Allen MVP coin, SEC Crypto Task Force, RIP CFPB, volatility and some Treasuries don’t count. Request summary
6-Feb-2025 Delaware Tempts Daktronics Cumulative voting, Pimco vs. private credit, dumb rebalancing, antigravity propulsion, private jets to Ibiza and Strategy. Request summary
5-Feb-2025 Private Credit Is the New Public Credit Also TripAdvisor can leave Delaware, Bill Ackman tweets and deletes, and Enron is a memecoin. Request summary
4-Feb-2025 Robinhood Wanted B*ts on the B*g G*me 10 years of Money Stuff, an emerging asset class, nothing is securities fraud, a sovereign wealth fund, a Goldman partner fund and Citi WFH. Request summary
3-Feb-2025 Texas Tempts Meta Also Bally’s Chicago, a MicroStrategy pause, Bitcoin for college and prediction market manipulation. Request summary
30-Jan-2025 How Long Do You Have to Be Short? Andrew Left, hedge fund hiring, white knights, CBDCs and Enron 2.0. Request summary
29-Jan-2025 OpenAI Doesn’t Want AI Cheaters Distillation, shorts, private company tokenization, Trumpcoin for payments and sportsbook correlation desks. Request summary
28-Jan-2025 DeepSeek Disruption Has Its Upside Also unrealized crypto gain taxation and X debt collateral. Request summary
27-Jan-2025 Hedge Fund AI Is Cheap AI DeepSeek, AI services rollups, QXO goes hostile, trading goes dark and X loans are offered at 90-95. Request summary
23-Jan-2025 Crypto Perpetual Motion Machines FartStrategy, minority ownership, IPO fee competition, SpaceX in ETFs and InfinityPools.  Request summary
22-Jan-2025 Index Funds Buy High and Sell Low Also ILPA on private equity disclosure, buying MicroStrategy volatility, collared Bitcoin ETFs and a Trumpcoin ETF. Request summary
21-Jan-2025 The SEC Was Busy Last Week Decorrelation, NDAs, startup accounting, Vanguard taxes, DCG, AML, cash sweeps, etc., plus the Trumpcoin. Request summary
16-Jan-2025 You Don’t Always Know What Bonds Cost Also Goldman says private markets are the new public markets and Hindenburg quits. Request summary
15-Jan-2025 Capital One High-Yield Account Wasn’t Also in-person oaths, Elon’s 13D filings and metaverse real estate. Request summary
14-Jan-2025 Maybe ESG Is Illegal Now Also Robinhood fines, private equity cell phones, sister-in-law insider trading and CFPB regulation of video games. Request summary
13-Jan-2025 Everything Might Be Accounting Fraud Also Bill Ackman’s bid for Howard Hughes and Goldman capital solutions. Request summary
9-Jan-2025 It’s Tough to Be a Research Analyst Also Elon Musk cleared the 150th tier of Diablo IV, ChatGPT will get you tenure in academic finance, and the Bitcoin in a dump guy can’t dig up the dump. Request summary
8-Jan-2025 The Fannie and Freddie Trade Is Back Also the EIB’s GAR and coughing up your Bitcoins. Request summary
7-Jan-2025 Private Equity Wants Your 401(k) Also studying sales, texting about improper money transfers and walking the trading floor unchaperoned. Request summary
6-Jan-2025 MBA Class Project Got a Bit Too Real Also narrow-ish banking, MicroStrategy miscellanea, defining AGI and breaking into DTC. Request summary
19-Dec-2024 Private Credit Wants to Be the Bank Also failed M&A, OpenAI restructuring and Bitcoin adoption. Request summary
18-Dec-2024 Insider Trading in Private Companies Also big activist funds and Azoria Meritocracy. Request summary
17-Dec-2024 Albertsons Is Mad at Kroger Also SpaceX employee margin loans, alternative asset manager mergers and Bitcoin as a Trump straddle. Request summary
16-Dec-2024 Elon Musk Heard From the SEC Also duplicating the MicroStrategy trade, buffer ETFs and hedge funds, Masayoshi Son’s $100 billion commitment and snorting Adderall in the bullpen. Request summary
12-Dec-2024 People Really Want SpaceX Shares SPVs, insider trading on getting fired, Target Pride securities fraud, Riot Platforms and impersonating a stockbroker. Request summary
11-Dec-2024 The Onion Can’t Buy Infowars Yet Also the Macy’s oopsie and the Hawk Tuah memecoin. Request summary
5-Dec-2024 MicroStrategy Has Volatility to Sell Also Kiromic, fake insider betting and the optimal amount of bribery. Request summary
4-Dec-2024 Citi Traders Didn’t Know the Rules High-touch trading, books as leading indicators, HPS pay and memecoins. Request summary
3-Dec-2024 Elon Still Can’t Get His Money Tornetta, empty voting, tricking an AI bot into sending you money and mining Bitcoins on planes. Request summary
2-Dec-2024 Texas Asks If Index Funds Are Illegal Common ownership, MicroStrategy ETFs, World Liberty Financial and Enron 2.0. Request summary
26-Nov-2024 Some Wamco Trades Were Better Than Others Cherry-picking, quant contests, hairy private wealth clients, in-seat promotions, a DJT business model and the head of mar Request summary
25-Nov-2024 Synapse Still Can’t Find Its Money Also UPS impairment, Macy’s small package deliveries, AQR TA Delphi Plus, Tether and Pink Floyd. Request summary
21-Nov-2024 Adani Green Didn’t Mention the Bribes Also rated feeders, AllHere fraud, expensive banana and AI on the blockchain. Request summary
20-Nov-2024 Short Squeezes Are Legal Now Also checking glitches, risk parity ETFs and Jane Street pay nondisclosure. Request summary
19-Nov-2024 Insider Trading at the Fed Also empty voting, anti-merger arbitrage and AI in earnings calls. Request summary
18-Nov-2024 Palantir Delivers the Tendies Also MicroStrategy, data center financing and significant risk transfers. Request summary
14-Nov-2024 Individual Investors Put Up the Cash Private equity deployment, NAV loans squared, hidden data, a Polymarket raid and X/DJT merger math. Request summary
13-Nov-2024 Trump’s DOGE Is Good for Dogecoin Also private-market alpha, Destiny Tech100 is back and not getting enough meat in your burrito is securities fraud. Request summary
12-Nov-2024 Merger Trading Will Get Easier Also some bad FTX loans, a late greenwashing case and Fed chair precedents. Request summary
7-Nov-2024 Prediction Markets Are a Thing Now Also CZ is relaxed, greenhushing and a fake Paramount buyer. Request summary
6-Nov-2024 The Trump Trades Worked Trump Media, crypto, the CME and farmer’s market pricing bylaw loopholes. Request summary
5-Nov-2024 Algorithmic Pricing for Kale Also CVA hedging, the private credit boom, copycat ETF names, KPMG layoffs and an Elon Musk divestiture theory. Request summary
4-Nov-2024 JPMorgan Undercharged for a Trade Money market funds, financial advice, BlackRock alternatives, farmland VIEs and algorithmic trading secrets. Request summary
31-Oct-2024 MicroStrategy Has Stock to Sell Also divorce glitch, dividend adjustments, Trafigura’s Mongolia office, death elasticity, fictional hedge fund managers and a big Google fine. Request summary
30-Oct-2024 Florida Banned Some Banks Also Super Micro’s annoyed auditors, xAI’s valuation, sentiment analysis and stolen cheddar. Request summary
29-Oct-2024 ETFs Are Where the Fun Is Double single stocks, near-wash trades, single-asset CMBS and an ATM glitch lawsuit. Request summary
28-Oct-2024 You Want Some Stocks That Go Down Also bond quants, reverse split manipulation, concentrated funds and Tether. Request summary
24-Oct-2024 Apple’s Card Was Confusing Also capital call line securitization, top-ticking private credit, Robinhood grows up and a Russian payment system Request summary
23-Oct-2024 Be Careful Tweeting About Stocks Also XTB CFDs, credit-card customer service and pharmaceutical code names. Request summary
22-Oct-2024 The Sophisticated Investor Test Also WisdomTree greenwashing, Dish bondholders, biotech/blockchain casinos and EY continuing education multitasking. Request summary
21-Oct-2024 Who Owns OpenAI? Also Jefferies, Susquehanna, fake recruiting calls and fake SEC tweets. Request summary
17-Oct-2024 Musk Keeps Paying for X Also Goatseus Maximus, World Liberty Financial, Citadel employee ownership, common lending, bribes and meal allowances. Request summary
16-Oct-2024 Activist Investors Are Podcasters Now Also double ETFs, private credit is the new public credit, the block-trade penalty box and adding clients on LinkedIn. Request summary
15-Oct-2024 Pumping the Magic Mushrooms Also Tether as the global reserve currency, cat bond basis risk, nuclear reactor financing and sports latency arbitrage. Request summary
14-Oct-2024 TD Was Convenient for Criminals Also private equity plumbing, public-market OpenAI, VistaJet and ultra-high-net-worth breakpoints. Request summary
10-Oct-2024 Crypto Market Makers Made Some Markets Wash trading, election arbitrage, TreasuryDirect.gov, NDA waivers and investment banking hours. Request summary
9-Oct-2024 A Trump Trade Arbitrage Election cops, HSR filings, structured credit integration, TXSE listing standards, AI and CPAs. Request summary
8-Oct-2024 Some of the Carbon Credits Were Fake Also FTX recoveries, ETF taxation, a big estate tax and Costco gold. Request summary
7-Oct-2024 Retail Investor Had Too Much Tesla Also exotic ETFs, Jane Street opacity, portfolio trades, Costco gold and the ‘head of macro’ guy. Request summary
3-Oct-2024 Private Credit Wants Everyone’s Money Also destructive competition, OpenAI exclusivity and PayPal stablecoins. Request summary
2-Oct-2024 Dish Bondholders Don’t Want a Haircut Also UniCredit’s Commerzbank hedges and a FanDuel VIP. Request summary
1-Oct-2024 Insider Trader Had All the Answers Also secret friendships, ad hoc bondholder groups, tweeting material news, Mango Markets and securities fraud settlements are securities fraud. Request summary
30-Sep-2024 Look Like a Loser, Then Win Also Dish sold for a dollar, Sam Altman’s negging, a dentist’s tax shelter, PE recruiting, blockchain for DTCC and business-class bribery. Request summary
26-Sep-2024 Private Credit and Banks Team Up Also OpenAI’s restructuring and Eric Adams. Request summary
25-Sep-2024 Masimo Has a New Boss Proxy fights, private equity operations, more cell phone fines and ESG pay. Request summary
24-Sep-2024 The Chatbot Will Pick the Stocks Also cocoa, voting and Hunterbrook. Request summary
23-Sep-2024 UniCredit Did a Commerzbank Trade Swaps, collars, Citi Bike, biblically responsible investing and texting regulators about work. Request summary
8-Aug-2024 Coal Is Cool Now Also VIX futures options, the Ripple ruling, private credit and portfolio manager pay. Request summary
12-Aug-2024 Leverage Goes Down When Markets Go Down Also August volatility, Bank of America hours, Musk conflicts and some father/son insider trading. Request summary
13-Aug-2024 Hedge Funds Take Money From Each Other Also NovaTech, Brock Pierce and astrology. Request summary
14-Aug-2024 JAB Is an Expensive Family Office Also Starbucks governance, BofA hours, X forum shopping and Ivy League sports. Request summary
15-Aug-2024 Stablecoins Can Have Bank Runs Also Credit Suisse risk management, lawyer-on-creditor violence, more cell phone fines, Starbucks governance and astrology-based consumer lending. Request summary
26-Aug-2024 Carl Icahn Had Some Hidden Loans Margin, algorithmic collusion, Nvidia hours, Tether investments and the “head of macro” guy. Request summary
27-Aug-2024 Accounting Isn’t Cool Anymore Also Paramount, CLO insider trading and hacking the transfer agent. Request summary
28-Aug-2024 Activist Shorts Can Still Have Fun Kerrisdale’s disclaimer, BLS information security, Nvidia as a macro indicator, Two Sigma and the Libyan central bank. Request summary
29-Aug-2024 Bill Ackman Has Some More PSUS Ideas Also gas manipulation, data room confidentiality and Nvidia as a macro indicator. Request summary
3-Sep-2024 Triple ETFs Triple Your Fun Leveraged single-stock funds, astrology-based investing, OpenAI’s capped profits, Musk’s Dogecoin pump and TikTok check fraud. Request summary
4-Sep-2024 Hedge Funds Help Companies Hedge Deal-contingent hedges, T+1 pains, taxi insurance, cell phones, leveraged ETFs and Nanjing-style salted ducks. Request summary
5-Sep-2024 Some Stocks Always Go Up 5% Order collaring, meme-stock inefficiency, an earnout dispute, Venture Global, private credit trading, the basis trade and Fyre Festival II. Request summary
9-Sep-2024 Fake Songs Made Real Money Zygotic Washstands, Polymarket derivatives, more Tesla/xAI conflicts and Esmark’s fake US Steel tender offer. Request summary
10-Sep-2024 The Fastest Options Are the Most Fun 0dtes, K-cups, News Corp., illegal NDAs, USDT and Vy Capital. Request summary
11-Sep-2024 Hertz Bankruptcy Was Too Good for Shareholders Make-wholes, Goldman credit cards, SEC phone pings, an off-and-on merger, Jeff Bezos’s house and a Vulfpeck album. Request summary
12-Sep-2024 Bankers’ Hours Are Still Pretty Bad Also Murdoch voting rights, OpenAI financing and index inclusion. Request summary
16-Sep-2024 IPOs Are About the Future Projections, OpenWeb, Commerzbank and several rules of insider trading. Request summary
17-Sep-2024 Archegos’ Banks Had Some Chats Antitrust, private credit, muni-bond texting and World Liberty Financial. Request summary
18-Sep-2024 There’s a Robot Warren Buffett ETF Also Steve Cohen stops trading, Ryan Cohen forgot to do HSR, FTX’s audit wasn’t great and don’t text about work. Request summary
19-Sep-2024 23andMe Is Just ‘Me’ Now Also EF Hutton, Avon CDS and pig butchering. Request summary